


Ren Family Bonding

by BlackMageEljin



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: Crack, Gen, Quite the opposite actually, i would like to personally apologize to sinbad sindria and all sinbad affiliates, im sorry, jafar is just here to judge sins life choices as he does, kougyoku gets her revenge, playing catch with your siblings is peak family bonding, rip sinbad, the fam helps, the rens are not sinbad fans, this whole fic is a shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26323378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackMageEljin/pseuds/BlackMageEljin
Summary: Sinbad, having returned from the eather in the form of a doll, travels to Kou to make amends with the royal family.It does not go well for him.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 33





	Ren Family Bonding

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to apologize again for this shitpost XD I would like to blame the post op meds but that's probably a lie.

Ja'far had once said he was certain Sinbad would return one day, and he was right.

Of course, it didn't happen like anyone would have expected. Like Al Tharmen and Alibaba once before him he was trapped in something of a limbo, currently borrowing the form of a doll. Not the intricate puppets of the organization or anything like Alibaba's wooden body, but rather a toy that had been made in his likeness to promote his books and adventures. It was cute, if not tiny, and at least allowed him some basic expression and freedom of movement.

Currently he was traveling to Kou to make amends. Ja'far had warned him it was a terrible idea, but in typical Sinbad fashion this warning went largely ignored. He arrived in Rakushou alone- after all, it wasn't like he could be killed like this.

He was greeted in the palace yards just inside the gates by the Empress, one of her most trusted advisors, and the High Priest.

Or rather, Kougyoku, Hakuryuu, and Judar.

"Ha ha! Holy  _ shit _ you look so fucking stupid!" Judar was already cackling behind Kougyoku. He was ignored, for now.

"Your Majesty! I am so glad you've decided to accept my apologies for the incident before. I hope we can rekindle our friendship in this new age." Sinbad greeted with all the charisma he usually held, holding out a tiny round hand. Somehow it seemed as though the cartoonish grin only made him more charming.

Kougyoku smiled brightly. Too brightly. A strained, practice smile. One that hid several years of malice in something pretty supposedly more befitting of a princess.

There was a long pause. Sinbad tilted his head as though to speak, and then-

_ Kougyoku punted that bitch into the fucking stratosphere _ .

" _ You bastard! How dare you show your face to me after everything you did! _ "

Hakuryuu started, more shocked than concerned. "Sister-"

Kougyoku turned immediately, taking the Emperor's headdress from her head and yeeting it at her brother's face. " _ Shut up Hakuryuu! You got your revenge, it's my turn now!" _

Hakuryuu shrunk back. "Th- that's fair…" he relented quickly, catching the crown as it fell from the now red dent on his forehead. Judar, meanwhile, was joyously cheering her on.

"Alright Kougyoku! Kick his ass!"

Sinbad landed only for the empress to drive her heel into his back, repeatedly stomping on his tiny doll form. Even if he was sort of immortal right now, this sort of thing still hurt. He… he miscalculated…

"Why don't we talk-"

No, no talking, only stomping. " _ How dare you play with my heart!"  _ Stomp! _ "How dare you make me raise my blade against dear little brother!"  _ Stomp!  _ "How dare you-" _

It was at about this point Kouen, Koumei, and Kouha arrived, Koumei wheeling his older brother into the palace grounds while the youngest trailed after them.

"Hey, I know you hate Sinbad but isn't buying a doll to beat up a bit much?" Kouha asked with a raised eyebrow.

Judar just started laughing harder, and Kougyoku picked up the doll by the ponytail to better explain. "Hmm? But this isn't just a doll, it's the real Sinbad!" She said with another cheery smile.

"H...hello." Sinbad greeted, still in a daze from the pummeling.

Kouha blinked once, then twice.

" _ I wanna turn!" _

In the next moment Kouha was darting forward, holding his comically oversized sword like a baseball bat. Kougyoku violently threw Sinbad like she was pitching a ball, and with Kouha's swing the former king once again went soaring into the air.

Koumei sighed. "Kougyoku, Kouha, that's irresponsible…" he began, causing his siblings to both pout, but then he continued. "If you knock him out of the palace, he'll get away."

Both perked up when they realized they weren't being scolded, but panicked when they realized the validity of their brother's point. "Shit-" Kouha squinted at the direction Sinbad went flying in.

"I got it!" Judar volunteered happily. He teleported off, flying back and landing in front of the Rens while holding Sinbad by the foot.

"J-Judar! Didn't you always say you wanted to team up…?" He pleaded. Unfortunately for Sibad, Judar only laughed.

"You're kidding right? You missed that chance ages ago! Hakuryuu is a thousand times the king you'll ever be! Besides in the end you were pretty fucking useless- even Alidumbass was better than you. He's even less bad at being a doll than you!"

With that, Judar tossed Sinbad back to Kougyoku, who pitched him to Kouha again, who knocked him into oblivion again. All only for Sinbad to once again be retrieved by Judar. 

"Let's see how far we can get him to go Kouha!" Kougyoku said excitedly, Kouha agreeing with his typical manic grin.

Koumei looked up at the sky "If you got serious, I'd say 50 meters, at least."

This cycle was repeated a few times. Between being handed off from Judar to Kougyoku, he tried pleading with the Ren who seemed the least enthusiastic about the situation.

"Hey, Hakuryuu- we're friends right? I helped you, remember?"

Hakuryuu's previously neutral expression turned to something much darker, a blank glare regarding the former king before it melted into something coy.

"That probably isn't something you should be bringing up right now~"

Sinbad looked behind him nervously, met by the almost demonically enraged expressions of Kouha and Kougyoku. No, no reminding anyone of his interference in the civil war at the moment was definitely a mistake.

"Hakuryuu has more important things to use brain power on than waste it thinking about you, you shitty asshole." Judar chirped before finally tossing the doll back to Kougyoku.

"Forget 50 meters! Let's go for 100!" She declared.

Kouha grinned. "It really is a shame that sort of body doesn't bleed. Do you think pulling out the stuffing would feel like disembowelment?"

"Careful, you don't want his soul to unbind from that doll, he'd get away." Kouen supplied helpfully from the side lines.

"Good point En!" And with another swing Sinbad went flying again.

When he was brought back he tried pleading with Hakuryuu again.

"Hakuryuu-" but he didn't get far.

"I think there's been a misunderstanding. That regrettable situation only happened because Judar was absent. I don't like you at all." He said with a perfect polite smile.

Judar held Sinbad up to taunt him. "You don't  _ seriously _ think  _ Hakuryuu  _ of all people is gonna have mercy on you right?" In hindsight, appealing to the guy who started a civil war for revenge was probably not the widest course of action.

"I certainly hope you don't think bringing that up will get us to argue." Koumei threatened more than asked. Sinbad really did use the lowest tactics…

Kouha gave the doll a dangerous glare at Koumei's point. "Hey Ryuu you want a turn?

"No, Kougyoku's right. You both deserve your turn." Hakuryuu answered with the same too polite smile. 

Judar tossed Sin back to Kougyoku and snorted. "I think Hakuryuu's so pissed he's afraid he'd break him too much." He draped an arm around Hakuryuu's shoulder after, using his other hand to poke him in the cheek. "This is the cute face his makes when he really wants to kill something." 

"Judar, please."

Kouha shrugged, "Your loss!" And sent Sinbad flying again.

Things went on like this for a bit, with Kougyoku and Kouha sending Sinbad flying while the others continued to happily comment on how far or high he went. It was a nice bonding experience for all of them- playing catch with your siblings was a staple of family bonding after all.

But then Hakuei- the responsible one- arrived.

"What's going on here?" She asked. Everything stopped, everyone with varying degrees of caught with your hand in the cookie jar written on their faces.

Judar pouted. "Well, looks like the party's over…" it was his job to say what everyone was thinking.

This all only seemed to confuse Hakuei more. Sinbad, meanwhile, seemed to have finally found a glimmer of hope.

"Lady Hakuei! It's been some time!" He tried to greet with his usual charisma, but it was hard with frayed edges and loose seams.

Hakuei blinked twice. "Is… that Sinbad?"

Kougyoku sighed, finally setting him on the ground. "I know it could mean trouble with the Sindria Trading Company, but…" She said with a sad pout. She had been having so much fun too…

"It's good to see you again." Sinbad said with a grin, despite a button eye threatening to fall off.

Hakuei smiled, making her way closer the group and the doll Sinbad in question. She passed by her brother, patting Hakuryuu on the shoulder as she did, and then-

Pulled his sword from his scabbard, charging Sinbad and bringing it down on him.

_ "How dare you let me be possessed by that awful woman!" _

There was a stunned silence as everyone was utterly shocked to see Hakuei of all people finally snap. Judar was the one who broke it, naturally.

"Holy  _ fuck! _ You actually managed to piss off Hakuei!" And then he started cackling again.

"S-sister…" Hakuryuu looked like he was going to start crying. "Does this mean you finish understand…?"

"While I still can't agree with your methods, I can't say I don't-" She brought the blade down on Sinbad again as he began to stand. "-understand your feelings!"

"Sister…!" Hakuryuu began crying tears of joy.

Judar watched Sinbad stand again, with Hakuei distracted things were starting to calm down. That wouldn't do at all.

"Hey, shitty doll king, you did a bunch of weird things with the Big Bitch right? But wasn't that with Hakuei's body…?" He pointed out. Hakuei looked surprised, like she hadn't considered that having happened before.

Hakuryuu and Kouen, however, were now out for blood. (Or stuffing, as Kouha had pointed out.)

"H-hey, things weren't really like that…" Sinbad tried as he shrunk back from the terrifying aura surrounding the two. Kouen stood from his wheelchair and stalked closer, deciding this was more than a worthy cause to burn the magoi for his prosthetics.

Sinbad tried to back away, but somehow Hakuryuu had appeared behind him.

"Would you like to do the honors, Hakuryuu?" Kouen offered.

"I got to kill Gyoukuen, I think you deserve this." Hakuryuu returned.

\--

In the Sindria Trading Company headquarters, a new Sinbad doll began to move as his recently freed spirit took a new vessel.

"Ja'far-"

"I warned you." He answered coldly.


End file.
